Songs of the Heart
by Starlight623
Summary: Song inspired drabbles. Will be posted in groups of five. Many thanks to futrCSI1490 for the idea!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: futrCSI1490 wrote on this challenge and graciously allowed me to take it up as well. (Please go read theirs as well!) It requires you to put on your music playlist, hit shuffle and the first 5 songs get written on. No skipping allowed. I got lucky on this first five, we'll see what happens later.

As usual, no copyright infringement is intended whether it be with the characters or the song lyrics. Sometimes I'll post lots of the lyrics, sometimes I won't. Depends on my mood and how it fits with the drabble.

Please enjoy and please review!

**

* * *

**

True Colors - Jenna Ushkowitz from Glee (originally by Cyndi Lauper)

_You with the sad eyes  
__don't be discouraged  
__oh I realize  
__it's hard to take courage  
__in a world full of people  
__you can lose sight of it all  
__and the darkness inside you  
__can make you fell so small_

It had been years since he had been here. And he didn't want to come today, but I'll admit that I forced him. They were dedicating the memorial to his clan today and I knew he should be here. His head tilted forward and his eyes were hidden behind his hat. I knew why. He wouldn't want anyone to see him as upset as he was. After each name was read, a barely visible shudder would overtake his body. But I saw.

He tightly held my hand. I knew that I was his lifeline today. Mallymkun and Thackery and all his other friends were here, but it was me that needed to be strongest. I didn't know those lost that day. I just knew the legacy left behind.

_But I see your true colors  
__shining through  
__I see your true colors  
__and that's why I love you  
__so don't be afraid to let them show  
__your true colors  
__true colors are beautiful  
__like a rainbow_

I knew what they left behind. A wonderful man. A man who would give anything for his friends. A man whose colors were brighter than anyone I knew. And not even those of his clothes or his eyes or his fingers (though, those were quite colorful as well). Tarrant's soul was a rainbow of love, friendship, bravery, loyalty and fun. I wished I could see that today.

_Show me a smile then  
__don't be unhappy, can't remember  
__when I last saw you laughing  
__if this world makes you crazy  
__and you've taken all you can bear  
__you call me up  
__because you know I'll be there_

After the ceremony, there was a reception for those in attendance. It wasn't the kind of parties that the Hightopps used to throw, but it was meant to represent them. I knew Tarrant wouldn't be in the dancing mood, but I was hoping to at least get a smile out of him. All week long he had been moody and withdrawn – a far cry from the Hatter I knew. We sat and ate quietly until a familiar song began to play. It was the first song we danced to as a married couple. I stood and held out my hand, silently asking him to join me. I knew that Mirana was playing this song intentionally and I didn't want to disappoint her.

He took my hand and followed me on to the dance floor. We swayed a bit before I drew him into a dance slightly more lively. It wasn't a futterwacken, but it was something at least.

Finally, as the song ended, I was afraid that Tarrant would run off. He looked so full of emotion. He fell to his knees in front of me and I waited for the tears to come. I was just about to join him on the floor when he put his arms around my waist and kissed my swollen stomach. It would only be another month and our daughter would be born. Proving that the Red Queen hadn't won. She hadn't left Tarrant as the last Hightopp. There would be others.

He looked up at me and whispered, "Thank you."

I knew that there were a myriad of things he was thanking me for. And he didn't have to thank me for any of them.

We danced a few other dances before we finally retired back to our chambers. When we returned home, we both laid on the bed and held each other. I felt it was all worth it when I looked up at him and received his trademark grin. It was all I needed.

**

* * *

**

Bye, Bye, Bye – N'Sync

_I don't wanna make it tough (wanna make it tough)  
__But I had enough  
__And it ain't no lie (Bye, bye baby...)  
__Bye, Bye  
__Don't wanna be a fool for you  
__Just another player in your game for two (I don't wanna be your fool)  
__But it ain't no lie  
__Baby bye, bye, bye..._

How did I let this happen? How could I be standing in this gazebo, looking down at this man, with his stupid smile, in front of all these people? Why didn't I see it coming? Of course my mother is trying to get me married. It's all part of the plan for good English ladies. A plan I certainly never agreed to.

My sister is beaming at me. Lowell is looking as bored as ever. Good. My mother has such an expectant look on her face. The Chattaways are giggling. Everyone else is staring … waiting for me to answer.

How can I say yes? How can I possibly spend the rest of my life with this man … and his mother. I can't. I just cannot do it. My freedom would be even more gone than it is right now. I would be stuck … trapped.

But how can I say no? How can I keep being a burden to my mother? I don't want to disappoint her or my sister. But … it's Hamish.

Why must this be my place in life? Why can't I just have my adventures, my dreams, like I want to? My dreams. My Wonderland. What I wouldn't give to just be there at this moment. Surrounded by my silly friends from there. Especially … no, I don't want to think of him right now.

I feel faint. I don't know what to do, so I do the first thing I can think of. I run. I run as fast and as far as I can.

I don't even know where I'm going, but I know it's away from that party. I can't face any of them right now. Especially Mother. I'll just rest by this tree. This tree with an abnormally large hole by it.

Curious … I wonder what's down there? I stick my head into there and see nothing but darkness – that is until I'm falling down the hole. I scream as I continue falling. I wonder where I'm going. Ah well, as scary as it is, it's got to be better than that party. Bye bye! Bye, Hamish!

**

* * *

**

Saving Me – Nickelback

_Prison gates won't open up for me  
__On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'  
__Oh, I reach for you  
__Well I'm terrified of these four walls  
__These iron bars can't hold my soul in  
__All I need is you  
__Come please I'm callin'  
__And oh I scream for you  
__Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'_

I sit as still as I can in my cell. I can hear the pitter patter of Mally's feet pacing in her cage, and want desperately to tell her to sit down as well. But I can't. This isn't her fault. It's no one's fault really. Or perhaps it's all of ours. Mally shouldn't have said Alice's name. I shouldn't have reacted so poorly to the knave suggesting Alice seduced him. Alice should have never tried to rescue me.

Alice. Sweet Alice. I wonder if she was safe. Did she make it out with the Vorpal Sword? Of course she did. She had to have. Why did that foolish girl try to rescue me? I'm just one man. One crazy, mad man. No one should care for me. And yet, she seemed to. I wasn't sure if I had asked her why she was always too small or too tall outloud, but her smile told me that I did. Was she thinking the same thing?

No, Tarrant … don't think on such things. She wasn't thinking the same thing. You are the Mad Hatter and she is the Champion. There is no connection there at all. Never will be.

Why do I keep thinking of her like this? Surely it's not … Gasp! It is! How could I be so slurvish? How could I fall in love with her? She almost made me forget what I have sworn to do. And Alice Kingsley has many more important things to deal with than a lovesick hatter. Not that it matters. I'm sure tomorrow I'll be without my head and it won't matter anymore.

Matter … hatter … She was so sweet when I fell into the madness. She wasn't afraid in the least. Brave girl. Of course she's escaped. She's taking the sword to the White Queen and all will be well again. Well, for the rest of Underland.

And yet, there is that part of me that just won't be quiet. He is yelling above all the other voices. Telling me that Alice wanted to rescue me desperately. As desperately as I wanted her to succeed and we could run off to Mamoreal together. Or anywhere else together.

No … no. Tarrant! Remember what it is you're in here for. The cause. The resistance. She will win and nothing will have been in vain. And yet … I just want her. She would be the one to save me. Perhaps not from this cell, but from the turmoil in my head. The voices are usually quieter when she's around. But … perhaps not.

Wait ... What's that noise? Chess? Perhaps there is hope after all … even if it does come from Chessur. Hold on, Alice, I'm coming. Save me when I find you.

_Show me what it's like  
__To be the last one standing  
__And teach me wrong from right  
__And I'll show you what I can be  
__Say it for me __Say it to me  
__And I'll leave this life behind me  
__Say it if it's worth saving me_

**

* * *

**

Crush – Lea Michelle from Glee (Originally by Jennifer Paige)

_I see ya blowin' me a kiss  
__It doesn't take a scientist  
__To understand what's going on baby  
__If you see something in my eye  
__Let's not over analyze  
__Don't go too deep with it baby _

As I rode to Mamoreal on the back of the bandersnatch, I began to think of my time in the workshop with the Hatter. What did he mean when he asked why I was always too small or too tall? Did he want to kiss me? Did I want to kiss him? It wasn't like I had much experience with these things. I had men giving me looks, and I had a man propose to me, but I hadn't felt a single thing for any of them. How strange to feel like this about the Hatter after just meeting him. Surely it couldn't be love…

_It's just a little crush (crush)  
__Not like I faint every time we touch  
__It's just some little thing (crush)  
__Not like everything I do depends on you _

But, I reasoned, I hadn't just met him. I had known him for years. I just hadn't seen him in years. And while I certainly didn't have these feelings when I was 6, the man was someone different now. A completely different Hatter. Someone I could relate to already. Someone who lived on the outside and always felt the scorn of people finding him different. Of course, I related to that.

_It's raising my adrenaline  
__You're banging on a heart of tin  
__Please don't make too much of it baby  
__You say the word "forevermore"  
__That's not what I'm looking for  
__All I can commit to is "maybe"_

But I was on the outside for so long that it hardened my heart. I didn't want to fall in love. I didn't want to become my sister. Of course, she was still a dear person, but I couldn't imagine living life like her. Always tied down with Lowell. Not that I didn't want to be with just one person. The thought was very appealing, but only if it was the right person. If I could find someone who could accept me for me, then I would consider it. But that didn't seem likely. Not with Mad Alice.

And the one person that could understand and accept me sat in a dungeon cell, I'm sure, waiting for his execution. An execution that was all my fault. I'm so sorry, Hatter. I've made such a mess of things. Underland, the resistance, your life. I can only hope you make it out of this. I would love to see you again. To finally get that chance to kiss you. I think I love you.

**

* * *

**

Out of the Blue – Debbie Gibson

_Without you, without you  
I always thought that everything was fine without you  
Never knowing you'd be mine  
Suddenly my world has changed  
And I just wonder why  
All it took was just one smile _

_Now with you, out of the blue  
Love appeared before my eyes with you  
A dream come true  
I never thought I'd realize what love was  
What love was, what love was...  
_

It was that smile. That smile that split his face when he first saw me. Of course, I didn't realize it then, being that I was only a few inches tall and quite disoriented with things. But looking back, that gap-toothed grin was the end of it all. I thought I would be fine alone, but with that smile … well, I kissed my heart goodbye.

_I need you, oh I need you  
And every day I love you more and more  
Without you (dreams and tears)  
I know what it's all for  
Suddenly I see you there  
And everything's ok  
Don't know why I feel this way  
_

I needed her, that was certain. The voices were quieter when she was near. Almost to the point of silence. My head just wanted to focus on her and for those fleeting moments, my brain actually shut everything else out. I was confused at first. Why did I run across the table to be next to her? Why did I want to kiss her at Salazen Grum? And when I figured it out, it was like a bolt from the blue. It all made sense. Love. I loved her more each time I saw her. And I was very certain that as soon as I got the Tweedles, Bielle and the pups to Mamoreal, I would see Alice and love her even more. If I could just get the Tweedles to walk faster!

_We are together now  
Never take my heart away  
All the love I found  
Is here to stay (out of the blue)  
_

I almost didn't have to turn to see who had joined me on the balcony. His presence was just that strong. Or was I just that in tune with him? I knew that my heart belonged to him and nothing was going to change that. As much as I wanted to stay away from love and be my own person, I also just wanted to be with him. My head kept telling me that this was a dream, but my heart argued something very different. This was real. Hatter was real. This love was terrifyingly real. If it was a dream, it was a dream come true.

_It's like a dream come true  
I never thought I'd fall in love with you  
Out of the blue  
Love appeared before my eyes with you  
A dream come true  
I never thought  
Here with you _

As we lay here, I stroke her hair. She is long asleep, very tired after a day of preparing, an afternoon of ceremony, an evening of dancing and a night of lovemaking. But I just can't bring myself to fall asleep yet. I just want to watch her sleep. I hope she dreams of me. The smirk on her face suggests that she is. My sweet Alice. My bolt from the blue in blue. My miracle. My dream come true.

* * *

End Note: Well, what did you think? I think I like drabbles for now. Little plot bunnies that don't necessarily have to be a certain length to make me happy. I hope you enjoyed. Let me know!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I had to laugh at the songs that came up. Some of them I almost got embarrassed about admitting they're on my music list, but then I thought about it and every song I have has a reason, so it's all good. The only really difficult songs were the first one and the next to last one.

So, please enjoy and please review! This story isn't getting too many reviews and it makes me sad.

**

* * *

Circus – Britney Spears**

My life in the Otherworld was always so prim and proper. Always so regulated. But once I made the decision to stay in Underland, my life became the complete opposite. It was, for lack of a better term, a circus. As I sat at the tea table, watching the food fly past my head, I laughed out loud. This is just the kind of thing that would have put my mother in the asylum.

It was strange to see my life now. Married to an apparently mad hatter, having tea with said hatter and a crazy hare and dormouse (with the occasional visit from a disappearing, smiling cat). Since we married, it apparently became my role to be the mistress of the party, married to the master of tea time himself. I actually enjoyed it, since I loved tea time back in London and these friends made it even better.

But when a scone hit Thackery right in the eye, my role became the mediator, or as I secretly called it, "the mother."

_I'm like a ringleader  
I call the shots__  
I'm like a firecracker  
I make it hot  
_

"Mallymkun!" I chastised. "What have we said about aiming for the eyes?"

"Well, is it my fault he's got such big eyes? I was aiming for his even bigger ears!"

I glanced over at Thackery and saw him rubbing the affected eye. I felt bad for him, but he appeared to be shaking it off fairly quickly.

"Ears? Are you alright?" Tarrant asked.

_Well, it's about time Dad jumped in, _I thought.

"Aye. She caught me off guard," Thackery said, launching a scone at Mally that knocked her clean off her chair.

Sometimes it felt like I was a juggler, trying to keep track of all the flying food and dishes. Some days I was the ringleader, trying to get all the tea party participants under control. Occasionally I felt like a firework, just ready to burst with the fun of it all.

I had a feeling that Mally and Thackery were going to be good practice for children.

**

* * *

Viva Forever – Spice Girls**

_Do you still remember  
How we used to be  
Feeling together, believe in whatever  
My love has said to me _

It is a quiet day. One that makes me reflective. I have been in Underland for about 10 years now and I can't help but think of how life was when I returned.

_Both of us were dreamers  
Young love in the sun  
Felt like my savior, my spirit I gave ya  
We'd only just begun  
_

Alice is thinking again. I can see in her eyes that she's remembering things. She always gets the most pleasant smile on her face when she's reminiscing. I wonder if I look that happy when I think of our beginnings. When she saved me.

_Viva forever, I'll be waiting  
Everlasting, like the sun  
Live forever,  
For the moment  
Ever searching for the one_

So much has happened since my return, mostly good. And now it seems to me that life in Underland never really ends. It is an everlasting entity almost. I don't mind it at all, because that just means that I have eternity with the man I love, our family and our friends.

_Yes I still remember,  
Every whispered word  
The touch of your skin, giving life from within  
Like a love song that I'd heard_

She's closing her eyes now. I wonder if she's remembering something she'd never discuss with anyone else. Something naughty. I've been thinking of that today. It was seven years ago that we made Charlotte. I still couldn't believe that we made a life. A life that Alice nurtured and carried. It was poetry, a love song, that we wrote together.

_Viva forever, I'll be waiting  
Everlasting, like the sun  
Live forever,  
For the moment  
Ever searching for the one_

Ten years in and time without end to go. No more searching, no more wandering. Just love, forever.

**

* * *

Bring Me to Life – Evanescence **

_How can you see into my eyes like open doors?  
Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb  
Without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold  
Until you find it there and lead it back home_

I sat in my chair, like I had done for countless days, weeks, years? I didn't know how long we had been sitting at the tea tables, what with Time being so angry at me. I supposed I didn't blame him, what with me killing him and all, but it did make for some strangeness in my life, never knowing what time had passed for others. Did it stop for others? Ah well, there was no time to dwell on that.

I vaguely heard Mally and Thackery once in a while, tossing pastries and enjoying their tea. I barely participated after a while. It felt as though I was just the leader, not the one intended to have fun. I slept most of the time, since it passed the non-existent time faster. I waited. Waited for someone (her) to bring me back, before I lost it all.

And then it happened. She came back.

_Wake me up (Bid my blood to run)  
I can't wake up (Before I come undone)  
Save me (Save me from the nothing I've become)_

As I saw her at the other end of the table, it seemed as though I had sprung to life for the first time in years. Even my bow tie seemed to return to life.

_Now that I know what I'm without  
You can't just leave me  
Breathe into me and make me real  
Bring me to life_

And then we stood on the battlefield and she held that vial in her hands. She was thinking about leaving Underland … and me. Didn't she know what would happen to me if she left? Especially now that I know what I would be missing? Perhaps she went back to thinking this was a dream. It most certainly wasn't, but perhaps she didn't know that even if it was, her love would make it all real. Make me real.

_Wake me up (Wake me up inside)  
I can't wake up (Wake me up inside)  
Save me (Call my name and save me from the dark)_

And then she drank. I felt the darkness creeping in. I knew the madness would take hold the second she disappeared and it would be over. I didn't know what would happen after that, but I was sure that it wouldn't be good.

And then she was still in front of me. She was calling my name and I felt light rushing within me, chasing away that darkness. She was here. Alice was still here. She was going to save me.

(A/N: I love this song for them… Just saying.)

**

* * *

Don't Rain on My Parade – Lea Michelle from Glee (originally by Barbra Streisand)**

_Don't tell me not to live,  
Just sit and putter,  
Life's candy and the sun's  
A ball of butter.  
Don't bring around a cloud  
To rain on my parade!  
Don't tell me not to fly-  
I've simply got to._

Life in London is boring. It's boring and stuffy and confining. There are terrible dances and terrible people.

My mother is insisting that I conform to the ways of life here. To wear the proper attire (I abhor stockings and especially corsets – who dreamed up that torture device?). To wear my hair up, simply because everyone else does.

She is also insisting that I find a husband. I don't know what the big deal is. When a lady marries, it just means that she's all the more trapped. She can't live, she just sits. Sits and chats, sits and has tea, sits and fans herself until her husband returns from actually having a life.

Doesn't she realize that there's a world out there? A world that I want to see. My father encouraged this. If I told him that the sun looked like a ball of butter, then he let me believe that it very well could be so. My mother is the opposite. I know she loves me, but she wants to keep me down. She won't let me fly.

Tomorrow there is a party at the Ascots' home. I don't want to go. It will be more stuffy people and terrible dances. The people will continue to look down on me because I am the different one. Charles Kingsleigh's mad daughter. Well, they can believe what they want. I may be mad, but I know what I want.

I wish they didn't have to run my fun or rain on my parade.

**

* * *

Naturally – Selena Gomez & the Scene**

_How you choose to express yourself  
It's all your own and I can tell  
It comes naturally, it comes naturally_

My Hatter has his own style. Anyone can see that from the moment he walks into a room. The socks might not match, the ascot might be as multicolored as a rainbow and the top hat is always the same, but it's all him. It's the natural way of Tarrant Hightopp.

_You follow what you feel inside  
It's intuitive, you don't have to try  
It comes naturally, mmmm it comes naturally  
And it takes my breath away  
What you do, so naturally  
_

My Alice has always been one to follow her heart. Even when she thought this place wasn't real, she still did what her heart told her. Her heart is probably one of the strongest things about her. She loves powerfully, protects fiercely, and cares genuinely. And she's just so beautiful while doing it. It's the natural way of Alice Hightopp. And she takes my breath away.

_You are the thunder and I am the lightning  
And I love the way you know who you are  
And to me it's exciting  
When you know its meant to be  
Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally  
When you're with me, baby_

We are a force to be reckoned with when we are together. If dead jabberwockies could talk, I'm sure the headless one on the battlefield would be agreeing with me. We're the perfect team because it just comes naturally to us. We don't have to ask, or discuss, (usually), we're just in sync. It was (and still is) so exciting for me to have someone like that in my life _and_ he loves me. The thunderclap to my flash of lightning.

_You have a way of moving me  
A force of nature, your energy  
It comes naturally (You know it does)  
It comes naturally  
_

Alice is a hurricane, a firecracker and a ball of energy, all wrapped up into one. She never ceases to amaze me. And I'm sure she never will. After all this time, she is a mystery to me. I look into those deep blue eyes and I know within seconds that I'll never fully understand her. She's an enigma. And I love it. Every single second.

* * *

Bonus Track!

**Tea Party – Kerli (Alice in Wonderland Soundtrack)**

I went one more song, just to see what I'd get and I got this song. I've thought this for a while now, and when I hear this song, my dirty mind goes to Alice and Tarrant getting frisky on the tea tables. And since I've already written that one, my bonus track is chapter 3 of my story "Wedded Bliss."

Preview:

His eyes almost crossed when he discovered what else I didn't wear that day.

"Naughty! You forgot half your clothes today!"

"Forgot is a very strong word," I said with a wink.

_Welcome to the Tea Party _  
_oh oh oh oh _  
_Want to be my VIP? _  
_When I'm all steamed up (up) _  
_Hear me shout _  
_Tip me over and pour me out _

_Your appetite is flex _  
_I got the table set _  
_Don't get your dribble on my t-t-t-table yet _

_I got the goodies baked _  
_Got more than you can take _  
_Just try and nibble on my biscuits and rainbow cakes _

_Let's be traditional _  
_And non-commissional _  
_Elbows down (down) pinkies up (up) _  
_That's the way you sip my cup _

_Try not to move so fast _  
_You know the sir comes last_  
_I'm a lady futhah muckah _  
_Try to show some class _

_Down to the last cup _  
_We keep it boiling hot _  
_We keep the party moving till we drink the last drop _


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Here is the third installment of these drabbles. To the few reviewers I have, I thank you so very, very much! It means a lot to me! You've all got muchness coming out of your ears!

Anyway, please enjoy…

**

* * *

My Immortal – Evanescence  
**(A/N: Normally I just wouldn't put Tarrant through this. But this song came up and it wrote itself. It obviously doesn't go with the story line that Alice stayed. The rest will be fluffy, I promise! Probably sugar overload.)

_I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave__  
I wish that you would just leave_  
_'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone_

For a few seconds, it didn't even register with me that she had left. I stared at the empty spot where she stood. Empty … gone … like my heart.

_These wounds won't seem to heal_  
_This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase_

I didn't have to see my face to know what was happening. My eyes were turning blood red and the darkness was seeping under them. I screamed and fell to the ground. I felt as though it was the Horunvendush Day all over again. I had just lost everything. Even in those few hours we had together, I knew that it was the best time of my life.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years_  
_But you still have  
All of me_

I felt arms around me and tried to fight them, but I just didn't have the energy. I didn't even know who it was. Probably a chess piece. I just couldn't fathom how she could leave me. After all we had been through together. Did I not do a good enough job at consoling her? At convincing her that this was real and that she had more than enough muchness now to fight and win? Did she not know that she took my heart, everything I had with her?

_You used to captivate me  
By your resonating light  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
Your face it haunts  
My once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away  
All the sanity in me_

The arms dragged me away. I heard sobbing in the background, probably the White Queen. Poor dear. I was so sorry to make her cry. I knew it wasn't Alice crying, despite the fact that when I closed my eyes, I saw her face. But when I opened them, I just saw the sad faces of those walking with us. When they put me in my room, I didn't fight anymore. I just laid on the bed. I tried to chase away her face, but it didn't work. When unconsciousness finally did claim me, I fell asleep to the lullaby of her voice. Was it possible to come back from this madness?

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along_

For some time, I wondered if it even happened? No one will talk about it to me. Even when I talk to her at the tea party. Thackery and Mally each give me such sad smiles. Why won't they talk to her? Even if she did leave, she's certainly sitting right here. Silly animals.

**

* * *

**

**Everything – Lifehouse  
**_Find Me Here, Speak To Me  
__I want to feel you, I need to hear you  
__You are the light, That's leading me  
__To the place where I find peace again._

My sweet Alice. She is my rock. Probably the only one who can deal with my madness and just take it right in stride. It never bothers her; she just calms me down with a light touch of her hand or a peaceful whisper from her voice.

_You are the strength, that keeps me walking.  
__You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.  
__You are the light to my soul.  
__You are my purpose...you're everything._

Sometimes it worries me that I need her so much. If I ever lost her, I would lose everything. She's my strength, my hope, my light. She promises me that she'll never leave, and that the jabberwocky blood proved that. She's right, of course. Alice always is. But the insecure madman is always nervous about just what would happen if she wasn't in my life. Usually by now, Alice tells me to stop thinking about it. She's right … again.

_How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?  
__Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?_

Right now she is sitting in the rocking chair, singing softly to our newborn son. Our daughter is sitting at her feet, also enjoying the song. The scene almost brings me to tears. There is no possibility that life could get any better. But then again, I thought that when I married Alice, and then again when Charlotte was born. Now, I think it again with little Will in our lives. But with watching this sight before me, I honestly don't think it could get any better.

_You calm the storms, and you give me rest.  
__You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.  
__You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.  
__Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?_

My savior Alice. She soothes me when I'm troubled and protects me from everything, even myself. She's the guardian of my heart and there is no one else who can make me feel like this. She is my everything.

**

* * *

**

**Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore – REO Speedwagon (also from Glee!)  
**(Fun fact about your author: This was my wedding song, -though, I wasn't married in the 80s - so I hold it near and dear to my heart. I'm just such an 80s fan)

_I can't fight this feeling any longer.  
__And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow.  
__What started out as friendship,  
__Has grown stronger.  
__I only wish I had the strength to let it show._

When our journey began, I tried to tell myself that I needed to fight against what I was feeling for Alice. I knew the friendship I had originally felt for her was gone. I felt as though my feelings for her had grown so powerful that they had become an entity. If it was love then it was not something that could be explored right now. I was terrified to let it get in the way. Alice needed no distractions, especially the devotion of a mad hatter.

_I tell myself that I can't hold out forever.  
__I said there is no reason for my fear.  
__Cause I feel so secure when we're together.  
__You give my life direction,  
__You make everything so clear._

And yet, I certainly wasn't going to be able to keep it in forever. I wanted to believe that everything would be fine if I told her. I had gotten the impression that she at least partially returned my feelings, so what was there to be afraid of? She made me feel sane, and that was saying something. She pointed me where I needed to go. But I just couldn't risk it, even if I had no reason to worry. First and foremost, we needed to get through the Frabjous Day. I would worry about the rest afterwards.

_And even as I wander,  
__I'm keeping you in sight.  
__You're a candle in the window,  
__On a cold, dark winter's night.  
__And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might._

Alice had always been a beacon to me. Even in the middle of the battle, I kept my eyes on her. It was as if I couldn't look anywhere else. Stayne was trying to swordfight me, but he didn't understand just how good I had become. I could easily check on Alice and fight him as well.

_And I can't fight this feeling anymore.  
__I've forgotten what I started fighting for.  
__It's time to bring this ship into the shore,  
__And throw away the oars, forever._

Once Alice had defeated the Jabberwocky, the battle wasn't the only thing that was over. My own fight was over as well. I wanted to tell Alice everything. I wanted her to know just how I was feeling. And then she drank the blood. My heart sank. But then, she stayed. My heart flew! It was the sign I needed. It was time to stop fighting. Why was I doing it again? Eh, it didn't matter. All that mattered was that it was time to stop all this nonsense. I had to tell her how I felt. I was going to propose, crazy as it seemed.

_My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you.  
__I've been running round in circles in my mind.  
__And it always seems that I'm following you, girl,  
__Cause you take me to the places,  
__That alone I'd never find_.

Since that wonderful Gribling day, my life had never been the same. For years (well, years for those that Time was still moving for…), I sat at those tea tables. I sat, I drank tea, I slept; that was it. And then Alice returned on that fated day and everything changed. Time started again, we defeated the Red Queen and her terrible jabberwocky, Alice agreed to marry me and we started a family. I couldn't believe the whirlwind she made my life and just how much I loved it. I'll follow her to the ends of Underland and back because I trust her with everything I have. She shows me things I'd never see on my own. Her perspective of things turns my world on its ear and I wouldn't change that for anything.

* * *

**I Can't Take My Eyes Off of You – High School Musical Soundtrack  
**_I can't take my eyes off of you  
__I know you feel the same way too, yeah  
__I can't take my eyes off of you  
__All it took . . . Was one look  
__For a dream come true_

She's beautiful. She's gorgeous and amazing and … and she's mine. I don't know what I did to deserve her, but I'm so happy I did it.

One of the Lords of the court is dancing with her now. Some gall he has, asking a recently engaged woman to dance with _him _at her _engagement_ ball, _while_ she was dancing with her husband-to-be. But I didn't want to give a bad impression for her or myself, considering we were just made a Lord and Lady as well.

She's trying her best to keep up with him, but the steps to the dances in her world are just the smallest amount different from the ones here, and it's tripping her up just in the slightest. I was careful enough to go slow with her so this wouldn't happen. And now she's just looking frustrated that she's messing it up. Silly girl. She defeated the jabberwocky; surely an Underlandian dance won't slow her down.

Her eyes catch mine and I nod to her, silently encouraging her. I see the determination return to her face and she begins to follow along so much better. The song ends and she graciously curtsies to the rude Lord and runs back to me before anyone else can steal her away.

"Lord Hightopp, I believe you need to dance with me now." She smiles and whispers, "If I can dance with him, I can dance with anyone."

I beam at her. "Lady Kingsleigh, I would love to dance with you again." I lead her back onto the dance floor and pull her close.

"You know, that'll be Lady Hightopp soon," she says softly into my ear.

"I love the sound of that," I reply.

"Me too." That radient smile melts my heart.

"Would you like to try something a bit harder?" I ask.

"I'm up for the challenge."

_Aren't you always?_ I think as I begin the steps.

For the rest of the night, any time she's not in my arms, she's in my line of sight. Whether she's talking to the Queen or dancing with Thackery, I keep watching her. The jealousy and protectiveness is part of it, but also that I just can't look away. She's captivating, amazing.

I can't take my eyes off of her. And I know she'd have it no other way.

**

* * *

**

**You Drive Me Crazy – Britney Spears  
**_Baby, I'm so into you  
__You got that somethin, what can I do  
__Baby, you spin me around ohh  
__The Earth is moving, but I can't feel the ground  
__Every time you look at me  
__My heart is jumping, it's easy to see_

Two years. We've been married now for two wonderful, blissful, happy, hysterical, amazing, astonishing, remarkable, delightful ("Hatter!" "Thank you, dear…") years. In those years, the only thing that has changed is that I'm even more in love with her than before. She's got more muchness now than ever and I feel as though I'm flying when I'm with her. My heart pounds with excitement when I see her, whether it's been all day since I've seen her last or even if it has only been a few minutes. Her eyes are like calming beacons. Anyone around us would be able to tell that she is my world.

_You drive me crazy  
__I just can't sleep  
__I'm so excited, I'm in too deep  
__Ohh...crazy, but it feels alright  
__Baby, thinking of you keeps me up all night_

She drives me crazy, but not in the way I normally am. This is a much better madness. The madness of being in love … in love so deep that I can't even imagine life any other way. And it's alright, she loves my madness too.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: E.G. Potter, Ngoc Chau, futrCSI1490, Hats-For-Alice, bloodyblond, Meerkatgirl13, NightRose131, mattsloved1, Melanie Swirls, LadyLioness, PeersHitInMoscow, Ying-Fa-dono: You all get gold stars just for reviewing! There haven't been too many for this story, so I want to personally thank you all. (Huge stars to futrCSI1490, Hats-For-Alice and Ying-Fa-dono for reviewing all three chapters… you folks have muchness on top of muchness!)

Also, I took the lyrics to this chapter out and will probably remove the non-essential lyrics to the previous chapters too. I totally forgot that you're not supposed to use them here. Oops. If you want the lyrics to any of these, let me know.

**

* * *

**

**My Give a Damn's Busted – Jo Dee Messina **

As I lay here, I have a nagging feeling that I'm forgetting something. I'm not sure what it is though. The day went off without a hitch, after all. I had all 4 "somethings" that I needed, my dress was perfect, the music, the food, the atmosphere were all perfect as well. Not to mention my perfect groom.

So what was it?

My mind drifts off as I listen to the steady sound of Tarrant's breathing. I cannot believe how lucky I am to have married such a wonderful man. Really, to think that I might have had to marry Hamish.

Hamish!

That's what I'm forgetting! I never did return to the "engagement" party. What with all the adventure and the wedding planning … well, I just completely forgot about him. Funny how that happened. I have thought of my mother and my sister. They were there just as much as Hamish, and yet, he hadn't even crossed my mind. Oh dear, I'm sure he was humiliated.

I should feel bad about that. And yet, because I'm so deliriously happy, I find myself giggling. How awful of me!

"Cricket, usually men don't find it very good when their lady laughs after making love."

Oops. Looks like I woke my perfect groom.

"I'm so sorry, Tarrant. I didn't mean to wake you! And of course, I wasn't laughing at you. I'm thinking of an … awkward situation that I left behind in London."

His eyes grow wide. "Is everything all right, love?"

"Yes, I would imagine it is."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Soon, perhaps. But not on our wedding night. I promise I shall tell you all about it … soon."

"Fair enough, poppet."

He looks at me with those newly-found bedroom eyes and I see them darken. But then I also see him yawn deeply.

"Rest, my sweet husband. You'll need your energy again soon."

"Minx," he murmurs as he drifts back to sleep.

I know I should feel bad for Hamish, and I honestly am trying to … but I just can't bring myself to care. I'm just too happy for myself!

**

* * *

**

**Hungry Like the Wolf (Duran Duran)**

My Tarrant is an insatiable man. Sometimes I think it's the madness. Sometimes my confidence is up and I believe it's because of me. No matter what the reason, I just know that we both enjoy it. And waiting for our wedding night was the best decision we could have ever made. It made making love that night so much better. The anticipation only made him (and me) even more hungry.

He'll tell you that it was the proper thing to do, and while I agree with that, proper hasn't always been high on my priority list. This was all about building the tension. Tightening the coil until we both snapped. And did it work!

* * *

I don't like to talk with her about just how long I waited for her, and I don't even mean the time between when she was 6 and when she was 19. Before that even. It tends to unnerve her to think that I am that much "older." It's hard for her to understand that people in Underland stop aging after some point. And especially considering that Time stopped for me once she left, I was the exact same age when she returned as I was when she left. It's still strange to her, so we usually avoid the subject. I just tell her how happy I am to finally have someone willing to stand with me.

But this was the exact reason that I wanted to wait for the wedding night. She'll tell you that I thought it was proper, but that's not just it. I wanted the build. I wanted the chase, the hunt. I wanted us both to be hungry for it. Starved, even. I'm pleased to say that I think the plan worked beautifully. Our wedding night was beautiful and passionate and so, so worth the wait.

And since then, my Alice has been an insatiable woman.

* * *

Even now, after years of marriage, the passion has not diminished between us at all. If anything, it's increased. We've never been able to hide it, even when we didn't understand it. But now! It's truly amazing at how a touch of the hand or even a simple glance across the table can be the signal. We're so in sync with each other that it's easy. Never a question. Never a problem.

**

* * *

**

**4 Minutes – Chris Colfer & Amber Riley (Glee) (Originally by Madonna & Justin Timberlake)**

A few minutes. That was all I had to save the world. I knew the beast wouldn't allow me any more time than that, so I had to be quick. I wasn't surprised at how terrifying it looked. What surprised me was how confident I felt walking towards it. Maybe it was the Vorpal sword's doing. Maybe it was because Hatter was standing next to me, telling me that my believing 6 impossible things was an excellent practice. Maybe it was just his presence.

No matter the reasoning, I made sure that my ability to slay the jabberwocky was my final impossible thing to believe. I knew Hatter was watching intently, always ready to intervene if necessary. He only needed to once, and it almost cost him his life. I would only have a few more minutes until the jabberwocky would start winning.

Just a few more minutes, Alice. You only have a few more minutes.

* * *

I couldn't let Alice see just how anxious I was to head into battle. I wanted to seem as confident as possible; I wanted to give her that same confidence. She needed to be ready and she needed to see that I was behind her 100%.

But as we arrived at the battlefield, and we saw that dark beast lumber towards us, the memories of that day came flooding back to me. I wanted desperately to fall to my knees and weep at the thought of losing my family that day. But I couldn't. I couldn't let Alice see that weakness. Today was about strength and bravery and defeating the evil that had plagued Underland for so long. Today was about victory, not the loss of the past.

I must have given Alice some support, because she walked right up to the jabberwocky with no fear and began the battle. She was a fantastic fighter and I couldn't have been more proud. I did interfere once, and I doubt she really, really needed it. But I couldn't stand back and do nothing. We only had precious minutes until the end. Only a few more minutes until the beast would be no more.

Just a few more minutes, Alice. You only have a few more minutes.

**

* * *

**

**Follow Me Down – 3OH!3 (Alice in Wonderland soundtrack)**

Life in London … I have no words for it. I'm sure it's terribly lovely for some, but for me? It's so drab, dull and boring! I feel like I am lost here. Everyone else is so proper and rigid. How do they function like that? Don't they feel just so, I don't know, boxed in? I need out of here. I need my adventure! I need someone to come and take me out of here!

* * *

I think the first time Alice heard, "we're all mad here," it made her a bit nervous. Now she just takes it right in stride, especially since she's becoming one of us. Some days she's as mad as a hatter! (And I love it) She's never had to be self-conscious about it, never had to worry about it. We are all like that. And it makes for such interesting tea times, even in the palace itself.

* * *

Since returning to Underland, I have had more adventure than I ever thought possible! Now that life is peaceful, my Tarrant leads me on journeys that I even I couldn't dream of. I've seen purple lakes and blue trees, rocking horseflies and bread and butterflies. I'm best friends with a queen and married to a royal hatter.

Sometimes, I'm still convinced that this has to be a dream. It's not possible for this much wonder to be in one place. But it is. And it's more than just wonder. It's love and friendship and beauty. It's the place that I've been waiting for, the place I had to go to.

**

* * *

**

**Jump in the Line – Harry Belafonte (Beetlejuice, anyone?)**

My Alice is a wonder. There is no other way to put it. I knew she had been practicing, and I know that once Alice puts her mind to something, there's no stopping her from there. But I certainly never expected my Alice to do a futterwacken. Now, of course, it's not a full futterwacken in the complete Underlandian sense. Being from another world keeps Alice's head and waist from spinning around. But the rest of it she has down pat. She's something to behold.

As we dance together at our 5 year anniversary party, I realize just how lucky I am. For quite some time (at least the time that Time allowed me) I never thought I would have another occasion to even think about doing a futterwacken and here I am, dancing it again. I've lost track of how many times I've done this dance since Alice won the battle on the Frabjous Day. It's only appropriate since it is a dance of unbridled joy and I certainly have that.

Our two year old daughter is laughing so hard as she watches us. I run over to her and pick her up to join us. She claps and giggles as she dances in my arms. Being half from the Otherworld, I wonder if she'll be able to spin like me. She doesn't seem to, but I suppose time will tell. For now, it's enough just to see her so happy.

Charlotte tells me she wants down, so I place her on the floor and she sways and bounces with that two year old style. If I ever had a need to futterwacken, dancing with my beautiful girls, it would certainly be now.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I'm in need of some cheering up today, so I shuffled solely through the Glee songs this morning. I know a few of you are Gleeks too, so hopefully it will make you smile too.

A few of these may require reading some of the latest chapters of "Marriage is Just an Adventure into Madness." (Especially "Safety Dance")

**

* * *

**

Faithfully (Lea Michelle and Cory Monteith) (Originally by Journey)

It hadn't even been a year since we were married. We had barely been apart at all since no one would give Alice something to do, despite her begging. But there was only so much I could ask her to do, so she got quite bored. And even though we had many "make Alice un-bored" sessions, she still wanted a purpose.

Rather than a purpose, what she got was a 3 day tour of the further places of Underland with the Queen. I was offered this as well, but I had a list a mile long for hat orders for the upcoming Frabjous Day anniversary and desperately needed to finish. I had a feeling that the ladies didn't want me with them anyway since I was certain they were going to Witzend and plan for the clean up. I wasn't keen on going there, but for my Alice, I would have.

She insisted that I needed to finish my hats and that she would be fine. She would be with the Queen and all the guards. And perhaps absence would make our hearts grow fonder.

I wasn't sure I could get any fonder of her, but I liked the idea.

As they left, I felt part of my heart leaving. It was a ridiculous notion, but I knew I wouldn't be happy until they returned. I threw myself into my work, wanting to be as close to done as possible when they got back. I wanted to welcome my wife home … properly.

_And being apart ain't easy on this love affair  
Two strangers learn to fall in love again  
_

As soon as she stepped out of the carriage, I had her in my arms.

"Welcome home, Alice. I've missed you more than I can say," I murmured into her hair.

She clutched me just as tightly. "I thought we'd never get here!"

A slight scratch on my scalp and I knew we had been apart far too long. I scooped her up and headed for our carriage.

"Welcome home, your majesty!" I called over my shoulder and I heard her giggling as she told us to have fun.

Like I needed to be told.

_I get the joy of rediscovering you_  
_Oh girl, you stand by me!  
I'm forever yours  
faithfully_

I wasn't sure if we were going to make it to the bedroom, but Alice wanted the chase. She hopped out of the carriage before it had barely stopped and was rushing towards the house. We both loved the chase.

It had only been a few days, but I already felt as though I was rediscovering her. Like it was our first time again … only better. I knew from the moment we spoke on that balcony, but I reconfirmed it as I made love to my wife, I would faithfully be hers forever.

**

* * *

**

Bust a Move (Matthew Morrison) (Originally by Young MC)

Our daughter was 5 years old and very much daddy's little girl. The sun rose and set on Tarrant and no one could convince her otherwise. It reminded me very much of my relationship with my own father.

Mirana was throwing an un-birthday celebration in two nights and Charlotte desperately wanted to do a futterwacken with her father.

"Daddy! I want to spin around like you!" she whined.

"Buttercup, I don't know if you can," he tried to reason.

"But I want to!"

The five year old logic was staggering. I wanted to laugh at the situation, but knew that I would hurt her feelings if I did.

"Let's just keep practicing, Lottie, and see what happens."

On and on it went. They wiggled and dipped and stepped, but only one could make their head and waist spin.

"I can't do it!" she said with a pout.

The guilt began to run through me. It was my Otherworldian genes that were keeping her from doing what she wanted to so badly. Why couldn't she have gotten all of Tarrant's dancing abilities?

"Charlotte, where is that 'I can do it' spirit of yours? This isn't like you to give up!" Tarrant said as he knelt down to her level.

"Daddy, there's nothing else to be done. It's impossible."

"Impossible? Only if you believe it is." He smiled at her and then turned to me.

"Nice," I mouthed back to him.

"Now, look here, Buttercup. Your Mummy has an excellent practice of believing six impossible things before breakfast. Now, it's after lunch, so we're quite behind, but I'm sure Mummy won't hold it against us. Let's instead use this as our impossible thing. Now, what impossible thing to you believe?"

"That I can do the futterwacken!" Charlotte enthusiastically told him.

"Right!"

"Mummy, do you think you could let us practice in private?"

I laughed a bit. "Of course." I left them to their rehearsal.

Two nights later, I was apprehensive to see what they had come up with. They never let me into their practices after that day.

The band began to play and Tarrant and Charlotte took the dance floor. I was tempted to join them, but I could see that this was a father-daughter deal.

My sweet husband and dear daughter moved completely in sync. It was easy to see how hard they had practiced and their orange curls moving in time with one another was delightful to watch. And then the moment came.

I watched with my heart in my throat as Tarrant's head began to turn. I glanced down to see Charlotte match him move for move. Spins and all.

After the dance was over, she ran over to me Tarrant following close behind her. "Mommy! Mommy! Did you see me spin around like Daddy?"

"Of course I did, sweetheart. You did wonderfully!" I glanced to Tarrant. "I told you she would be a futterwackener since before she was born! Like father like daughter."

He had no words at that moment, as the pride overtook him. For once, Tarrant Hightopp was speechless.

**

* * *

**

Defying Gravity (Lea Michelle and Chris Colfer) (Originally by Idina Menzel)

I had often heard about hearts soaring or love making you fly. I used to think it was nonsense. But I didn't have a lot to go by. My sister's marriage did not seem to be the flying type. And while I knew for certain that my parents loved each other, my mother's sense of propriety kept most displays of affection out of the sight of others. All other marriages just seemed bland.

And then I fell down a rabbit hole.

I found a world of amazing sights and sounds and people. Especially one person in particular. And once I fell in love, I began to think that maybe hearts could fly.

A few months into our marriage, Tarrant and I were laying in the grass in a nearby meadow, looking up at the clouds.

"That one looks like the bandersnatch," he said.

"Hmmm, I suppose. Now that one looks like a rabbit," I replied.

"And that one is TweedleDee."

"TweedleDee? How do you know it's not TweedleDum?"

He turned a bit and looked at me. "Well, just look at it! Obviously Dee."

I looked again. It still looked like both of them to me, but I let it go.

"Do you ever wonder what it feels like to fly?" I asked.

"Yes, many times actually."

"I'll bet it is the most freeing experience out there. Above the world, defying gravity."

"Perhaps I can help you," he said as he began to stand and then helped me up as well.

"Help me?"

"Yes. Now, stand right where you are. Good. And bring your arms out. Very good. Now, place your hands on my shoulders and then to the back of my neck. Excellent. Now, are you holding on tightly?

I nodded.

"Good, because here we go!" he grabbed my hips and lifted just a bit and spun around, raising me off the ground.

"Tarrant!" I screeched.

"Keep holding on!" he called as he began to run around, keeping me as high up as he could.

I laughed with delight as we "flew" all over the meadow. Finally, Hatter wore out and we fell back to the ground.

"So? How did it feel to soar?" he asked.

"Like being in love," I replied.

**

* * *

**

Safety Dance (Kevin McHale) (Originally by Men Without Hats)

My sister's wedding was coming up. Not to Lowell; that one was years before and ended with a death that I could have seen coming.

In a week, my sister would wed Brandon Kingsford. I couldn't have been happier for her. Tarrant, however, was nervous.

"Nervous? Whatever for?" I asked.

"There will be dancing."

"Of course there will. And you're an incredible dancer!"

"Here in Underland, yes. But in your world … I don't think I'm very good at all."

"But you danced quite well the last time we were at Mother's."

"I was faking it as best I could. Your dances are just a smidge different than here. It keeps throwing me off. I try my very best, of course, as I do for all things for you, but there's just that one little step that always gets in my way. I want to dance so well for you, my love, because I know how much you like it and we both feel so close when we are dancing, but I feel like I'm failing you when-"

"Tarrant," I said, holding his face in my hands.

"I'm fine. Sorry."

I remembered when I first learned Underlandian dances. I had the same difficulties as Tarrant. I had just figured that he was such a wonderful dancer that he wouldn't be having these issues.

"I'm sorry, darling. I didn't know."

"How would you?" he answered. "I've never told you. I suppose I figured I'd never need to know those dances."

"Well, then I shall teach you."

"Alice, the wedding is very soon. We leave tonight to make sure we're there on time. There is no way you'll be teaching me anything."

"Excuse me, but I think you need a lesson on impossible things."

He smiled at me. "You've got me there, Dearheart. Where shall we start?"

In about two hours, my husband was a pro at dances from both worlds. I focused mainly on the waltz since that was most likely what would be danced the most. Any quadrilles would be sat out with extreme hatred. We left for my mother's with confidence in both our abilities.

The wedding was wonderful and my sister was a beautiful bride. Jacob (Lowell Jr.'s new name) was adorable and Brandon was so attentive to them both.

When it came time to dance, Tarrant and I stepped up with our "safety dance," the waltz. I had always felt loved and adored with Tarrant, but when we danced, it was like our love was so full that it needed to move.

We danced other dances that night, but our safety dance was the favorite. I knew then that my dance card would always be full.

**

* * *

**

And I am Telling You I'm Not Going (Amber Riley) (Originally by Jennifer Holliday)

Another nightmare. It didn't matter how many times I told him that he was stuck with me, Tarrant always had the same nightmare.

Well, not always the same one, but the result was always the same. I left.

Sometimes the jabberwocky won. Sometimes I really drank the blood and disappeared. Sometimes I "realized just what a crazy notion it was to even think about marrying him and ran before the madness overtook us both." The last one made me sick. The first two were based on actual events. But leaving because I didn't want to be married to him anymore … well, it bothered me.

"Darling, how many times do I have to tell you?"

"Alice, sweetness, Dearheart, I cannae help it. One day, one day yeh'll see the error o' yerh ways. And yeh'll run."

"We've been married for 3 months now. I haven't left yet, have I?"

"Nae, but yeh've got plenty o' time to get goin'."

"Tarrant …" I sighed. "Go back to sleep, my love. I promise you with everything I have that I _will_ be here in the morning."

He wrapped his arms around me, as if he wanted to make it more difficult for me, if I did decide to sneak away in the night.

A few weeks passed before it hit again.

"Alice!" he screamed as he thrashed in the bed.

"Hatter! Good God, Tarrant, wake up!"

His eyes sprung open and I saw that they were the mad orange. I knew I needed to proceed with caution.

"Yeh left! Why are yeh in mah bed?"

I sighed. This was never pleasant. "Tarrant, I didn't leave. I'm here, always have been, always will be."

"Nae, I saw yeh leave."

Proceeding with caution was going to take too long, so I decided to just dive right in. "Stop being so stubborn! Wake up and realize that I'm here. I've only got so much muchness this early in the morning."

"Muchness …" he mumbled.

"Yes, another M word for you. Muchness, mind, madness, marigolds, mumbling, marriage. Marriage, Tarrant. Remember how we got married? Because I _stayed_?"

His eyes began to change back and he shook his head a bit. I took it as a good sign.

"Alice … cricket, I'm so sorry."

"It's ok. I just need to get it into your obstinate milliner head that I'm not going anywhere. Underland is my home now. Actually, wherever you are is my home. Do you understand?"

He hung his head, embarrassed that it happened … again.

"I'm so sorry, poppet. Maybe this'll be what drives yeh away."

I rolled my eyes. "You do realize that I need you, right?"

He looked up at me, tears glistening his eyes.

"Tarrant, for the longest time I felt an emptiness, but I figured it would never be filled. No one would want someone as mad as crazy Alice."

"I know that feeling."

"I know you do. And now that we have each other, there is no way I'm letting that go. I need this. I need to feel your love. I just need you, Tarrant Hightopp. I'm not going anywhere."

"Yehr too good teh me, yeh know tha', righ'?"

"Yeah, I know," I said with a smile. "But you deserve it."

"I love yeh, my bonnie lass."

"And I love you, _mo gradh._"

He held me tightly as we lay back down.

"No worries, my sweet Hatter. You'll never be without me."

"I'll ne'er want teh be," he whispered as sleep took him again.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Well, I'll admit, I thought this story was over. But then I heard two of these songs lately and they came up in the scramble rotation and I just had to take another go round. Please enjoy and please review!

**

* * *

**

**This I Promise You - NSync**

_I've loved you forever,  
In lifetimes before  
And I promise you never...  
Will you hurt anymore  
I give you my word  
I give you my heart  
This is a battle we've won  
And with this vow,  
Forever has now begun..._

I held her in my arms as we swayed and twirled to the music. "Her," of course, being Alice. And Alice, of course, being my bride. Just a few short hours had passed since we were officially joined as husband and wife and already I felt as though it had been forever. There was nothing I wouldn't do for her. I had already planned to lay my life down for her on the Frabjous Day and if the need ever arose again, I was more than willing. Nothing would ever hurt her again.

It was a strange, but wonderful feeling to know that I was dancing with my wife. As someone who normally didn't attract the ladies, I had resigned myself to a life of bachelorhood. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but just the way things were. And yet, here we were. She was my savior and I had no words for my gratitude and my undying love for her.

It had been a perfect day and it was already a perfect evening. Surrounded by our friends, our "family," just made it all the better. I had professed my love to her in front of all of them and it was the best feeling in the world.

_Just close your eyes  
Each loving day  
I know this feeling won't go away  
Every word I say is true  
This I promise you_

And now we had forever before us. I had a lifetime with my sweet Alice. The other half to my soul. My port in a storm. My beloved wife and my best friend. I had promised her that we would always be in love and always happy. And I would keep that promise.

**

* * *

**

**Hungry Eyes – Eric Carmen**

It's been said that the eyes are the window to the soul. I almost wonder if the person who said this had known my Tarrant. If anyone's eyes show their soul, it's him.

Vibrant green for his normal, jovial self. A deep emerald when he is feeling amorous. A dark forest green when we are in the throes of passion. A strange golden color when he is confused or anxious or beginning to anger. An orange color when the anger begins to deepen. And a menacing red when the fury of the madness takes hold of him.

And while I adore that lovely green that is his normal color, it is the darker greens that are my favorite. It's especially fun to actually watch it happen.

Like now for instance, he is sitting there, looking over some fabrics before bedtime, but I have other ideas that are going to push things back a bit.

_I've been meaning to tell you  
I've got this feelin that won't subside  
I look at you and I fantasize  
You're mine tonight  
Now I've got you in my sights_

"Tarrant," I begin softly. "I think you need a break."

"Break? Sweetness, I've just begun."

"So have I." I begin to saunter over to him. We've been married for well over a year, but this never gets old.

He looks up and sees me approaching. And there go the eyes. He's never able to hide these things and I for one am grateful. I like to call these the "Hungry Eyes."

"Cricket, do you have a plan for before bed activities?" he says with a smirk.

"Perhaps."

Instantly he is meeting me halfway between us and has me in his arms. "Well, if my Beloved has plans, then who I am to tell her no?"

I'm not sure who began kissing who first, but it doesn't matter. He scoops me into his arms and carries me upstairs. Perhaps I have hungry eyes as well.

_Now I've got you in my sights  
With these hungry eyes  
Now did I take you by surprise  
I need you to see  
That you were meant for me_

**

* * *

**

**Strange - Kerli; Tokio Hotel (Almost Alice soundtrack)**

"I love it here," I whisper as we stare out into the night.

"Did you not love London?" Tarrant asks softly.

"Depends on how I look at it. I loved my family. I loved the city itself. But I just couldn't conform to the rules. I wanted to be my own person."

_A freak of nature  
Stuck in reality  
I don't fit the picture  
I'm not what you want me to be  
Sorry_

"Yes, I can see that in you. I believe it is one of the things I love best about you," he replies.

"It was difficult. My mother and my sister both thought they were doing the right thing for me by trying to change me. But all they were succeeding at was making me miserable. They wanted a corset and stocking wearing, quadrille dancing, blush demurely Alice. I'm just not that girl."

_You want to fix me, push me  
Into your fantasy  
You try to give me, sell me  
A new personality_

"Wouldn't they be proud to have a jabberwocky slaying, bandersnatch taming, futterwacken dancing Alice?" he asks, smiling brightly.

"I can't see how they would," I answer with a hint of disappointment in my voice. "I never lived up to their expectations. And I think those things would just horrify them. They would probably scold me for wearing armor."

He turns toward the stars. Sitting on the balcony of our room is always so peaceful. The Underlandian night sky is so beautiful. It had only been a few weeks since we were married, but sitting and watching the stars had become part of our nightly ritual.

"Well, my love, for what it's worth, I prefer the current you over the you they would want you to be. The other Alice sounds dreadfully boring and wouldn't understand any of my riddles."

Leave it to my Hatter to make me feel so much better.

"You know, Tarrant, I think you're right. And I prefer this Alice as well." I smile and lean in to give him a quick kiss.

"And I'm certain that the other Alice wouldn't be nearly as naughty in the bedroom!" he says, waggling his eyebrows for effect.

"Well, I don't know about that. You seem to inspire a certain naughtiness in me that even I didn't think I had."

He quickly scoops me up. "Care to show me what you mean?"

I sigh dramatically. "I suppose."

He smiles even bigger now and carries me to the bed. Yes, I think we both prefer this Alice.

* * *

**Tango: Maureen – Rent Soundtrack**

Alice had always hated dancing. Quadrilles and waltzes, they were all dreadfully boring and rigid and everything she loathed.

And then she came to Underland and the dances were so different. Futterwackening was just the beginning! I decided to teach her the tango, which was unbelievably unboring and also quite … invigorating.

The first time I began to teach it to her was right after our honeymoon. It wasn't a dance I really knew, it being a partner dance and myself not being one to dance with many people. But I knew the steps. I knew many dances, in fact and couldn't wait to teach her.

As we began the steps, I held her close and felt her move with me. We made quite the duo as we danced, always right in sync with the other. Even barely knowing the dance, she fell in step with me so easily. And holding her so close was making me lose concentration. I could tell that she noticed as she got an evil look in her eyes and pulled me even closer.

_When you're dancing her dance  
You don't stand a chance  
Her grip of romance  
Make you fall_

I knew I was done for and just went along for the ride. Soon enough, Alice began leading me through the steps. She was quickly becoming a wonderful dancer. One would hardly believe she hated to dance so much in London.

Just as I began to regain my composure, Alice leaned in and whispered, "Dip me."

I barely had time to react before she began to bend back over my arm. As she slowly (torturously slowly) rose back up, she flashed me that smile that always led to other things.

'This woman will be the death of me,' I thought as she grabbed my lapels and began to kiss me. 'But what a way to go.'

_So you think, Might as well  
Dance a tango to hell  
At least I'll have tangoed at all_

**

* * *

**

**Carry On My Wayward Son - Kansas**

My life had never been a hard one. Born into a loving family, employed at court as the Royal Hatter, my life could have been described as perfect. And then that horrifying day came. And my perfection came crashing down.

I began the resistance and we fought with everything we had, all the while with the exhausting task of hiding our doings. But I had to do it. I had to avenge my family. I wanted to save Underland too, of course, but I couldn't let them get away with the murder of my entire clan. I would fight for justice and for peace.

_Carry on my wayward son  
There'll be peace when you are done  
Lay your weary head to rest  
Don't you cry no more_

The madness crept in more and more though. I could feel it working its way into me. I embraced it at one point, using it as a catalyst instead of a hindrance. The madness thought of things I never could. It made plans that, when carefully executed, were quite useful.

But there was a downside as well. The voices. The voices were always present and began to crowd inside my head. It was cramped in there some days. I had to try to ignore the violent ones. The ones that desired nothing more than the blood of the Red Queen and her Knave. I wanted those two gone, but not necessarily at my hand.

_Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man  
Though my mind could think I still was a mad man  
I hear the voices when I'm dreaming  
I can hear them say_

_Carry on my wayward son  
There'll be peace when you are done  
Lay your weary head to rest  
Don't you cry no more_

The voices I focused on were the voices of my parents. Especially my mother. She was the one that told me to carry on. To be the leader that Underland needed me to be for now. She convinced me that when it was all over, I would find peace.

And she was right. Even if she was a figment of my imagination, she was right. We won the war and I found my peace and my heart.

As I lay here now, with my head on Alice's lap after a particularly bad bout with the madness, I hear my beloved tell me to lay my weary head to rest. Her comforting words and soothing strokes though my hair lull me to sleep.

Even the voices are content.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I've got to stop assuming I'm done with things. Ugh. Put a CD player in the kitchen and play the Alice soundtrack and now there are more ideas. Ugh, ugh. So, anyway, this is a solely "Almost Alice" chapter. Please read, enjoy and review.

Do I need to mention that, of course, I own nothing related from Alice? And that I'm making no profit off of this.

**

* * *

**

**Where's My Angel - Metro Station**

It was an easy decision to toss Alice across the water. It was even an easy decision to use my hat to do so. My life had no importance in this war, but hers did. I was completely willing to sacrifice myself and my hat to keep her safe and alive.

But yet, as I sat in the prison cell, I wondered where she was. As I silently took the beating and whipping from Stayne, my mind wandered away to her. Was she safe? Was she alive? As long as she was, then it was all worth it. My life didn't matter. They could have it as long as Alice was alive. As long as that precious angel was safe, then it was all fine.

An angel … yes, that would be Alice. Sent from a mysterious world from above. Sent here to save me and all of these people from the evils of the Red tyranny. Where was my angel now? In Marmoreal? With the Queen? I could only hope. And because of my hope, a little part of her was with me as well.

_Where's my angel? Go on and take my life.  
Where's my angel? I need someone here tonight._

And even now, as I sit in this cell again, I am confident of my decision. I was even granted a few moments with my precious angel in the hat workshop, so I know that was my reward for my sacrifice.

I was elated to see her sitting in the throne room, if not somewhat puzzled as to why she was there and why she was so large now. Surely that was not her right proper Alice size. Even as tall as she was now, she was still my beautiful angel. Wait, my angel? When did she become my angel? We hadn't spent that much time together, but already I could feel my heart jump when she was near. I thought it was going to jump clean out of my chest when I saw her at Salazen Grum. She was alive and well and trying to help. To help me? I could only hope, but at the same time, I didn't want her to lose focus. She needed to get the sword!

I had escaped death for that moment and was able to have such a lovely moment in the workshop. An angel indeed. She calmed the storm inside my head. She returned my hat. She gave me that smile that melted my heart. Then things went so wrong.

Stayne. That bastard. He had better not have laid a hand on Alice or he would answer to me. Even after my execution. I would find a way.

And now the time draws near. I don't mind. My life is worthless, especially compared to angel Alice. She has escaped, I have to believe that. She is safe and she is heading to Marmoreal. But where is she now? Where is my angel?

**

* * *

**

**Alice – Avril Lavigne**

_I found myself in Wonderland  
Get back on my feet, again  
Is this real? Is this pretend?  
I'll take a stand until the end_

I stood on the balcony with the Hatter. He had just finished trying to prove to me that this was all real and that I needed to be ready for the Frabjous Day. He was so adamant about it that I almost started to believe him.

How could I convince my dream that he was a dream? How does one convince a dream of anything?

We stood and looked out into the beautiful Underlandian night sky. The stars seemed to sparkle with a different glow here. Well, of course they did. It was a dream world after all. Why wouldn't things be even lovelier here?

"Alice," his soft lisp breaks me from my thoughts.

"Yes, Hatter?"

"You can do this."

"How can you possibly know that?" I ask.

"Because I know you."

"How can you possibly know me?"

"Even a mad hatter can recognize your muchness. It's almost coming out of your ears at this point. Whatever you had lost, you've gained back and then some. You've been shrunk, stretched and stuffed into a teapot. You've tamed a bandersnatch and escaped the Red Queen's clutches. You are the Alice and you can do whatever you wish."

"You sound like my father," I whisper.

"If he is anything like you, I shall take that as a compliment."

"Was. I'm afraid he has passed away."

"Oh, Alice. I'm so sorry. I meant no –"

"No, no, Hatter," I interrupt before a ramble can begin. "It's fine. It was definitely a compliment to compare you to such a man."

He smiles and returns to gazing ahead of us.

After quite some time, full of silence, I softly tell him, "Thank you, Hatter."

He doesn't ask me why I'm thanking him. He just turns to me and holds out his arms. Despite just knowing him for a few days, I rush into his embrace, noting just how much it feels like home to be held by him.

He places a kiss to the top of my head and whispers, "I believe in you."

And from that moment, I decide, dream or not, I cannot let this place or this man lose to the Red Queen. I will have to find some way.

**

* * *

**

**Very Good Advice – Robert Smith**

_I give myself very good advice,  
But I very seldom follow it.  
That explains the trouble that I'm always in.  
Be patient, is very good advice,  
But the waiting makes me curious._

Patience is not one of the virtues that I am well acquainted with. I have always been two or three steps ahead of everyone else (or even myself). I need to keep things moving and waiting is not something I can easily deal with.

Every Christmas that I can remember began with me jumping on my parents' bed as early as possible, letting them know that they needed to get up and soon! There were presents to be opened! Father understood this trait and was always the one to get up with me then and distract me until Mother and Margaret were awake as well. It was during these times that we had our best chats.

Even now, I am no good at waiting. I find myself always wondering when projects will be done, or when someone will return the paperwork I need. When will Will finally say his first word? I always need to know what's going on, and when, and for how long. I'm a planner, but not one that likes to wait. It makes things difficult for Tarrant.

"Darling, when will you finish that hat?" I ask, impatiently tapping my finger on the table.

"When I'm finished, cricket," he replies, trying to hide the annoyance in his voice.

"You know we have reservations, right?"

"Alice, love, of course, I know. I made them. We'll be on time. We have 2 hours still."

"Yes, but we'll still need to change. And we should get there a little early, just to be safe. Don't you think?"

He pauses and looks up from his hat. The baby blue creation is flawless. "We will not be late, so do not worry yourself with it. Now, if you don't mind, I do need to finish this hat before we go."

I stare at him, trying not to get upset. He feels my eyes on him and turns back. He sighs, sensing my scrutiny. "Do you want to wear this tonight just as it is? Incomplete?"

"That one is for me?" I ask, suddenly feeling bad about pushing him to hurry.

"Aye, lass, 'tis. But yeh cannae wear it until yeh let me finish makin' it."

I didn't think the brogue was appearing out of anger, so I figured it was a distraction. Well played, Hatter.

"Fine. Can I at least tidy up in here to pass the time?"

"Aye. But just pass 'im, please. Killin' 'im will just make us terribly late teh dinner an' we wouldnae want teh be naughty, would we?"

"Not until later," I smoothly reply.

He grips the edge of the table and waggles his eye brows. "Careful, lass. Yeh may be playin' wit' fire."

"So burn me," I whisper just loud enough for him to hear before hopping off my stool to begin cleaning. Tarrant grabs my waist as I walk past him and pulls me in for a breath-stealing kiss. I quickly compose myself and go back to my tidying.

"Now who's impatient?" I tease.

"Lass, yeh'll be the death o' me yet. I jus' ken it."

I smile and return to my work. After all, he has a hat to finish and a date to keep.

**

* * *

**

**Welcome to Mystery – Plain White T's**

_Imagine a room where the flowers they bloom  
Through the cracks in the floor and the ceiling  
Just you and the missus and roses scented kisses  
My, what a wonderful feeling_

My husband is the most wonderful man in the world … any world. Today is our six month anniversary. It's only early afternoon and he has already exceeded my expectations! First, I awoke to a room full of flowers. It looked as though they were growing from the walls themselves there were so many. Next was breakfast in bed, this was no surprise since he has done this for every one of our month-anniversaries. Then was a massage that led into the most passionate love making since our wedding night. The smell of the roses made each kiss, each touch, each movement that much more romantic. It was bliss.

_This is a place where your mind can escape  
All the problems today and go far, far away  
This is a time with no history  
Welcome to mystery_

I certainly have always accused my mind of wandering off without me. And sometimes, I get quite offended when it was somewhere good. Today I make sure to keep it with me, because I want to wander with it. I want to forget about the world and focus only on the woman next to me.

She is beautiful. It's a painfully bland word in comparison to her, however. Beautiful wouldn't begin to describe her, but alas, I have no other word to come close. She makes me forget what I am, what I have done, what I could become if neither of us is careful. And yet, she stays. Stays with me. She reminds me of her love and makes me forget all about those things. When we are together like this, there is no Underland. There is no list of hats to be made, no tours of the outer regions for Alice to see, not even a tea party to attend. Just us. Far away from the world.

I find it a mystery how a beautiful, intelligent, inquisitive creature such as Alice could ever love me. I can barely stand to be around myself some days, so how is she managing? But she's making me aware now. She's making me forget the bad. She's making me whole. I suppose it's just the way it's supposed to be. My mystery will always remain and I couldn't be happier for it.

**

* * *

**

**Tea Party - Kerli**

_Welcome to the Tea Party  
Want to be my VIP?  
When I'm all steamed up,  
Hear me shout  
Tip me over and pour me out_

There are times where sitting at these tea tables is torture. Certainly not because I'm having no fun, or certainly not because it's boring. Quite the opposite. I'm sitting here suffering because my husband looks so … magnificent sitting there.

Sometimes I feel quite scandalous, lusting after Tarrant like this for something as simple as pouring the tea. But it's nothing that I can help. He sits at the head of the tables, wearing that hat, and laughing that silly laugh. I love him and I love these moments.

I know that I'm staring, but I just can't help it. I want to take that hat off his head, wear it myself and make him chase me. Or find a way to ask Mally and Thackery to leave and climb into his lap. Could I lead him to the house?

_Your appetite is flex  
I got the table set  
Don't get your dribble on my t-t-table yet_

I can't believe I would even imagine doing anything like I'm thinking right now – on the tea tables no less! Sweeping everything onto the ground, laying me gently onto the table (or throwing less gently?) feeling those milliner fingers –

"Cricket, are you well? You look flushed. Do you have a fever?" he asks as he turns to me and gives me a strange look.

'Oh I have a fever,' I think. 'But not the way you're thinking.'

"No, I'm fine. Just … the heat," I reply.

Thackery twitches. "Th' heat? Tis nae hot t'day! She's gon' as mad as th' rest o' us!" he says, tossing a scone at me that I barely avoid.

Tarrant gives me a strange look. He knows it's not the heat.

"Darling, I'm fine," I tell him. "I'm just lost in my thoughts I suppose. Just …" I couldn't finish the thought in front of Mally and Thackery.

"Just what? Beloved, you're beginning to worry me now," Tarrant pushes, his eyes going from green to a worried blueish.

"Oh for th' love of … Hatta, she wants teh go inside with yeh!" Mallymkun says impatiently. "Go inside an' ravish yehr wife afore th' two of yeh make us sick wit' yehr googly eyes!"

I blush deeper than I ever have and Tarrant's eyes shift from blue to yellow, back to green and then to the deep emerald that makes me shiver.

"Oh!" he says proudly (not that he deserves to). "Why didn't you just say so?"

"Well, I didn't think it proper to –"

I don't get to finish that thought because he has picked me up and tossed me over his shoulder. Propriety apparently be damned.

"Thank you, Mally!" Tarrant calls as he opens the door to the house.

"Yes, thank you!" I add before he slams the door behind us.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Well, here's a story I didn't think I would be updating. *sigh* These two are taking over my writing! Another all "Glee" installment. Last week's episode left me a bit disappointed, so I'm working on fixing that.

Please enjoy and please review!

I own nothing here! Not Alice in Wonderland, not Glee, not any of the characters, not any of the songs. In fact, I don't own much. And I'm making no money from these stories ... which leads to the not owning much.

* * *

**Dream On** (Will Schuster & Bryan Ryan … originally by Aerosmith)

Dreams were very often my enemy. I would see terrible things. I would hear screams. I would dream of things that could be even worse. It took its toll on me just as much as the mercury.

_Every time I look in the mirror  
All these lines on my face getting clearer  
The past is gone _

The past was the enemy as well. It haunted me and not just in my dreams. I would think of something seemingly random and suddenly I would flash back to that day, to the Horunvendush day. I would be surrounded by charred buildings and a hazy smoke.

Sometimes the dreams would be cruel in their kindness. I would dream of my sisters. Dream of my mother and my father. The dreams would show such wonderful things. We would be happy, perhaps at a festival, perhaps just a family dinner. I would feel content, I would feel safe. I would feel like the past never happened and my life was still just fine. And just when I thought I may never want to wake from such a wonderful scene, the jabberwocky would swoop in, or the Red Queen's soldiers would march in and decimate the entire village again.

It was hell just to go to sleep some nights.

And yet, I couldn't let myself lose focus. As painful as the majority of my dreams were, there were still good ones. Ones of hope, ones of peace, ones of victory. I clung to these dreams with everything I had. I needed these like I needed air some times.

And sometimes, I would be blessed enough to dream of Alice. I didn't know what she would look like before her return, but I knew it was her. A beautiful blond woman, with eyes full of passion and a will of steel. (When she finally did return to us, I found I wasn't far off.) And she would look into my eyes and give that determination to me. I wanted to fight, if anything, for her.

It was these dreams that kept me holding on to the resistance. If we could just keep things going until Alice returned, then all would be well. We would win and finally have peace in Underland. I had to keep dreaming. Fighting the nightmares for what we could and would have. I had to keep dreaming… for us.

_Dream On Dream On Dream On  
Dream until your dreams come true  
Dream On Dream On Dream On  
Dream until your dream comes through _

**

* * *

**

**Stronger **(Artie Abrams … originally by Britney Spears)

_Stronger than yesterday  
Now it's nothing but my way  
My loneliness ain't killing me no more  
I'm stronger_

I lived in pain for years. Or maybe days … I wouldn't know, what with time being so angry with me. I suppose I can't blame him, though, what with my killing him and all. Regarrdless, I could feel the conflict sapping the life from me. My weakness began to take over my strength. There was nothing that could be done for it. The war made me different; all of us different.

But then there was a single ray of hope. A beautiful, blue-eyed, blond-haired, constantly-wrong-sized ray of hope that went by the name of Alice.

She instantly made me feel as though there was strength to be had. There was no need to give into the weaknesses that the conflict, the resistance, the pain, the bluddy beig heid gave me. I, er, I mean, _we_ had Alice now.

And yet, as it were, there were times where I feared she would take my new strength away from me. Especially when I thought she was going to leave us. I could feel the loneliness, the pain, begin to fill me almost instantly. I almost shook with the intensity of keeping the madness in check.

And then she stayed.

And strength filled me from the toes of my shoes all the way up to the top of my brilliant top hat. And just when I thought there was no room left, love came flooding in as well. It was an amazing feeling.

So, now, each day feels better than the last. There is no weakness now. Unless you count the weakness I have for this beautiful lass who sleeps by me each night, curls into my embrace, makes love with me with such a passion. There is my weakness. I would do anything for her. Anything she remotely asked for. I would drop everything and rush to her side.

"Tarrant," that same beautiful lass asks, her voice heavy with sleepiness.

"Yes, my love?" I reply.

"Why are you awake? How can you have any energy after what we just did?" she says with a wicked grin on her beautiful lips.

"I don't know, cricket. I just couldn't sleep."

"Well, try to rest. You'll be needing your strength soon," she whispers as she nods off again.

"I don't need anymore strength," I whisper back. "I'm already holding my strength in my arms."

* * *

**Singing in the Rain/Umbrella** (Holly Holiday, Will Schuster & the Glee club … originally by Gene Kelly / Rhianna)

It doesn't often rain in Underland, but when it does, it does for at least a day or two. Mirana explained it once that the trees absorb the water differently here.

Today is the first of two predicted rainy days. It's gloomy, but at the same time, it holds that beautiful Underlandian quality.

We are both working at the castle today, but we are taking a tea break currently.

"Cream, love?" I hear Tarrant ask, but I can't reply. I am too busy staring out the window, watching the raindrops.

"Cricket?" he asks again. This time, I turn to him.

"What? Oh, sorry, Hatter. I got lost in the rain."

"Relaxing, eh?"

I nod. "Yes. I've always found the rain to be quite calming. Which is good, considering I lived in London."

"I'm sorry it doesn't rain much here," he says with a sad smile.

"There are other benefits here." I barely finish the sentence before returning my gaze out the window. "Come with me!" I tell him as I stand.

"Anywhere. Where are we going?"

"Outside!"

"Outside? Poppet, do you remember the rain we were talking about?"

"Of course! And that is why we're going!" I grab his hand and begin pulling him towards the nearest door. "Dance with me, Tarrant!" I yell as we reach the courtyard.

He looks at me with complete surprise, but begins to understand. He pulls me close and we begin to dance. "Shall we sing as well?"

"We shall do whatever we wish! Dance in the rain, sing in the rain, it doesn't matter. I just love it!"

He smiles at me and pulls me ever closer. I look up at him and realize that my face is staying dry.

"Tarrant, you and your hat make an excelled umbrella!"

"Always, pet, always."

**

* * *

**

**Gives You Hell ** (Rachel Berry … originally by The All American Rejects)

_I wake up every evening, With a big smile on my face  
And it never feels out of place.  
And you're still probably working, At a 9 to 5 pace  
I wonder how bad that tastes_

I couldn't believe we slept so late. I stretched and relaxed and smiled.

"What's on your mind, beloved? You're smiling like the cat who caught the canary," Tarrant says, his joy apparent in his voice.

"I haven't felt this relaxed and content in quite some time," I replied.

He grinned wickedly at me. "After what we did last night, I'm surprised you aren't still asleep."

"Well, you wore me out so completely that I had no choice but to sleep soundly. I think I've slept my best here in Underland. The stress of life in London always made me sleep terribly."

"Do you miss it there?" he asked. He always asked, even though I always told him no.

"Hatter, I barely miss a thing there. At most I miss the relationship I _could_ have had with my mother and my sister. But even those were strained. The only one I could miss isn't there anymore. I couldn't be happier here. I couldn't be happier thanks to you. And to think I could have been stuck with Hamish."

"It would seem as though Underland saved you from a terrible fate."

"It would seem as though _you_ saved me from a terrible fate. Still though, it makes me wonder what Hamish is up to now."

"No doubt still kneeling in that gazebo, waiting for you."

"Oh Tarrant, I highly doubt that. I don't think he liked me very much anyway, so I wasn't much of a loss. But I'm sure his life is dreadfully boring. Gray, and dull, and horridly dull lackluster."

"How dreadful … gray," Tarrant added with a smile.

"Yes, the colors are quite absent up there."

"Well, then, it seems to me that you are quite in the right place. _The_ Alice needs to be in a place of color and of a very mad nature."

"Perhaps. Or perhaps Alice Hightopp just needs to be with her husband. There is all the color and madness I need."

"Indeed, love. Indeed."

**

* * *

**

**Bad Romance** (the Glee girls & Kurt Hummel … originally by Lady Gaga)

_I want your ugly, I want your disease  
I want your everything, As long as it's free_

Even in Underland, I think people still find me even more mad than I perhaps deserve. It's not as though Tarrant Hightopp was one of the world's most eligible bachelors. A fine fellow, yes, but certainly not one for which the ladies of Underland were lining up in the hopes of being courted by him.

And yet, he is absolutely perfect for me. Since the war has ended, Tarrant and his bravery and his cleverness has certainly gained a new found respect, but that doesn't mean that anyone would want to marry him.

Good. Because he is all mine.

He worries, though. He fears his own madness and the mercury poisoning that surely flows through him. Yet, he can't come to realize that I love even those parts of him. I crave his madness and even the poison that forces stains and color changes upon him. It is a part of who my husband is and therefore I cherish them.

Perhaps it is a sign of a dark streak that runs through me. Mirana explained to me once that everyone, even the most good and pure, still has a dark side. Otherwise, there is no balance at all. Maybe it is that part of me that finds his madness so appealing. Maybe it's my own madness calling out to its own perfect mate.

Whatever the reason, I love it and I want it forever. I find it exciting, invigorating, intoxicating and liberating to be drawn to such a mad man. When his eyes change from green to emerald in lust, I want to ravage him where he stands. And, mercy, if they become speckled with gold or the more dangerous orange, then I'm putty in his hands.

It sounds a bit strange, somewhat scary to admit to it, but there's no helping it. I want every part of my husband. The sweet, lisping milliner who never fails to make me feel like a goddess. And the rough, stained, bandaged rebel with a brogue that makes me weak in the knees.

Tarrant Hightopp loves all the sides of me, so what kind of a wife would I be to not love every inch and every facet of him?


	9. Chapter 9

I find writing whole chapters to be a little more difficult these days, even though I love to. So, in the meantime, I picked up this challenge again. I could write one story in about a day and it kept the writing muse happy. I went for all Glee songs again. :) Please enjoy!

* * *

**Take My Breath Away (Diana Agron and Naya Rivera, originally by Berlin)**

(This is Tarrant's POV before their wedding.)

It was a day that all of Underland had been waiting for, but no one had been waiting as long as I had. It was the day that Alice and I were to be wed and I was as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I wasn't nervous about my love for Alice, far from it! That was one on a very short list of things that I was completely certain of.

What concerned me was ... well, me.

Was I condemning her to a life with a madman? Was I ruining any hope she had for a happy life? She told me she loves me, but did she know? Did she really know what she was getting into? I could barely live with me some days, how could I expect her to?

As I began to fear that I would go full tilt into a mad episode with worry, Chess appeared.

"You know, Tarrant, you're going to wear a tread in the carpet if you don't stop pacing," he said with an impatient tone.

"I'm in no mood for you, cat," I replied tersely.

"Oh come now. Isn't it time we let bygones be bygones? I did rescue you from that dreadful cell," he said as he rolled above me. "And I did return your hat."

I stopped and thought about that. Over the past few weeks, Chess and I really had started to get along. Maybe it was just habit to snap at him.

"Very well. What do you want, Chess?"

He began circling my head. "I've come to check on the groom. Alice is pacing her room as well, wondering if you're are well."

"Is she having second thoughts?" I asked, perhaps a bit too quickly.

"Oh, Tarrant. Are you really that unsure of yourself? Of course she isn't. She's just thinking of you and dreading the crowd. You know our Alice, she always has something on her mind."

"Aye, that she does."

Chess stopped floating around and stared at me. "You really do love her, don't you?"

"Of course I do! Why else would I be marrying her?!"

My eyes must have changed a little because Chess suddenly backed away.

"I'm sorry, Chess. I'm just scared."

"Of what?"

"Of what? Of ruining Alice's life! She'll be saddled with a mad hatter for eternity. Eventually she's bound to regret this decision, and then she'll want to leave and probably go back to London and of course I won't stop her because who could blame her and then I'll just be -"

"Tarrant," Chess drolled.

"Miserable. Thank you."

"Let me explain something to you. Alice is not only an Alice, but THE Alice. Do you really assume that she would do anything she did not want to do?"

"Nae. She's feisty like that."

"Precisely. She wants this, Tarrant. She wants you. So stop being so Hatter about it and go marry her."

When did the cat become so wise?

"Yes, marry her. I think I shall. Thank you, Chess." I began to walk to the door. "You are a good friend."

"I won't let it go to my head," he said with a wink.

I made my way down to the courtyard. There were so many guests! Thackery and Mally each gave me a thumbs up as I took my place at the front and before I knew it, music began to play. There, far down the long aisle, were two visions in white. But only one caught my eye.

Alice was breathtaking.

Her gown was like a white version of the tiny dress I made for her in the teapot. On her head was the hat I made for her. She was gorgeous.

Suddenly, Thackery smacked me with a ladle. "Air!" he cried. "Gotta breathe!"

I hadn't realized that I was even holding my breath. But who could be bothered with a trifle like air when there was an angel walking towards you?

Finally, they reached me.

"Be good to her Tarrant. She's a champion," Mirana said as she kissed my cheek.

"This I know, highness. This I know."

The Queen walked away from us as we walked up the three steps to the minister.

"You look beautiful, my dear," I whispered to my sweet Alice. "And the design of that dress … it looks familiar."

"Yes, well, I had a specific dress in mind when I had them make it. And by the way, you look very handsome."

Her compliment fell on deaf ears. Nothing could be handsome next to her. She took my breath away.

* * *

**Just the Way You Are (Cory Monteith & cast, originally by Bruno Mars)**

_When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change..._

Hatter is sleeping, but I can't help but stay awake and stare at him. He would feel terribly self conscious if he knew I was doing it, but I just love doing this. We've only been married for a few weeks, but I find myself doing this a good bit.

People from London would be horrified to see him. The colorful circles around his eyes, the strange coloration of his cheeks, his snow white complexion, and his bright orange, unruly hair would cause many in Overland to run in fear.

But it's these things that make me love him more. Perhaps it sounds strange, but its his differences that attract me to him. He represents everything I despised about London. It was drab, he is colorful. It was stuffy, he is free. It was quiet, he laughs louder than anyone I know. London encouraged marrying for status, but I married him for love.

The bandages and scars represent his dedication, to his craft, to his morals and to those around him. His hair might have turned from the mercury, but it's endearing.

I glance to his hat, sitting on the nightstand, never too far from him. His hat is a part of him. I so rarely see it not on his head. But it's also a tragic reminder of the devastation of his clan. The last remaining piece of their history. I sometimes wonder why he doesn't remove the price tag, but I think he hates to make any changes to it. It must be as preserved as their memory is in his mind.

Suddenly he's stirring. I debate whether I should quickly pretend to be asleep, or let him catch me.

"Poppet, I know you're awake," he mumbles as his eyes barely open.

"How did you know?"

"Sweetness, no one can be stared at that intensely and not wake from it."

"I'm sorry. I just couldn't help thinking of all the ways you aren't like Londoners."

He quirks an eyebrow at me. "Did that list include the fact that I've never been to London?" he asks with a smile.

"No, but I suppose it should. I was just thinking how you are completely different from any other man I've met, with the exception maybe of my father."

"I shall take that as a compliment, dearest."

"It is meant to be. I'm just so grateful to have you in my life. I love you so very much."

"And I love you as well, beautiful. What brought all this on?"

"I don't know. Sometimes I just look at you and think on how perfect you really are."

"Pfft!" he scoffs.

"You can disagree all you like, but I think you're perfect."

"Then we shall have to agree to disagree, yes?"

"I suppose so," I said, playfully sticking my tongue out at him.

He made the same face at me and then kissed my forehead. "Now, perhaps we should get back to sleep?"

"Yes, perhaps. Good night, darling."

"Good night, my love."

* * *

**We Found Love in a Hopeless Place (Glee cast, originally by Rihanna)**

Never would I have expected to fall in love ... in Underland ... with a Mad Hatter. But that's exactly what happened. I didn't see it when I first arrived. I was so confused by the tea party and the talking animals. Then I was riding on a hat. I didn't fall in love then, but I was certainly intrigued by the man wearing the hat. And once I was tossed on that hat, I was beginning to see the character of the man. The integrity, the bravery. He was much more than the madness that everyone saw. Once we met again in Salazen Grum, and he lied to keep my identity secret, I knew I could trust him.

But when I returned his hat, it was then that I began to fall for the man.

It was in that terrifying, hopeless castle that I began to see love. After he succumbed to the madness, it was me that seemed to snap him out of it. The look in his eyes drew me in. Yes, they were an unnatural color, but they were full of such pain. I just wanted to hold him and tell him it would be ok. That I would be there for him. But there was the matter of our height difference.

"Why is it you're always too small, or too tall?" he asked.

I could only smile my reply. After all, I was thinking the same thing. Would I have kissed him if I were my right, proper Alice-size? I'll never know. I'd like to think yes. But perhaps we weren't ready yet.

We had found love in that hopeless place, but we hadn't confessed it yet, or really defined it for that matter.

I had certainly never loved a man before besides my father, and what I saw of my sister's love was a joke to me. That wasn't love at all. I didn't know if I was in love or not. And he wouldn't have understood either. Very few people wanted to be around the Mad Hatter, let alone love him. He was frightening and strange. Only other mad animals, or kindly queens, would befriend him. The feeling was just as new and unnerving to him.

But it built, and built, and after a midnight chat on a balcony, a confirmation that thinking of 6 impossible things before breakfast is an excellent idea, and a futterwacken, I knew what I had felt in Salazen Grum.

It was love. Even if it started in such a place.

* * *

**Blame It on the Alcohol (Glee cast, originally by Jamie Foxx & T-Pain)**

It was a little known fact that Alice could not hold her liquor. I first found out about a week before our wedding. The queen had sent us a basket of gifts and in it was a bottle of the best wine in all of Underland ... a big bottle.

"Oh, cricket, you must try this! It's delightful!" I said as I popped the cork and poured a glass.

A few glasses in and I noticed Alice getting more and more giggly. Then she began to get a little handsy. Before I knew it, she was passed out on the couch and I needed to carry her up to her bed.

As for this night, I don't know what possessed Alice, but when the Queen planned an all ladies outing, she thought she would be fine.

"Please, poppet, do be careful. Don't drink too much," I asked seriously.

"Hatter, I'll be fine. I'll have Mirana and the other ladies to keep me in check."

I wasn't sure I trusted the other ladies and I had seen at a few royal occasions that Mirana wasn't the strongest drinker either. I decided I would follow the group. If I got caught, I could get in serious trouble, but better I get in trouble with Alice than she in get trouble elsewhere.

Once they left, I followed their carriage at a safe distance on my horse. It was so loud in there, I doubted they would have heard me if I was directly behind them.

They stopped at a local tavern that had apparently been bought out for the night. When the queen threw a party, she did it right.

As the ladies got out of the carriage, I noticed that none of them looked the same. Mirana's white hair was now a brownish color and Alice's was a stark black. The other ladies from court also looked different. Mirana must have wanted to get out of the castle, but not be recognized either.

They went in and began their night out. It all seemed harmless at first, but then the drinks kept coming. They began to get louder and louder. Soon enough, some were giving each other unsolicited advice on lovers, some were laughing, some were crying. I darted into the tavern and paid the barkeep to cut them off. A disappointed group of ladies "climbed" back into the carriage to get back to Marmoreal.

When they returned, Mirana announced that everyone should go back to their rooms, including Alice. Thank goodness we had a room at the castle for just for these occasions. (Well, maybe not this specifically...)

I met Alice at the front gate and asked if I could escort her to our room.

"Oh, darling, you can escort me anywhere!" she slurred.

When we walked through the front door of the castle, Alice's hair instantly changed back. The potion must have worked that way. I was glad because it was too strange seeing Alice not looking like Alice.

As she staggered and swayed, I decided it would be easier to carry her, rather than balance her. Once I got her to our room, handsy-Alice was back.

"Hatter, you are devastatingly handsome ... have I told you that recently?"

"Yes, love, though not nearly as inebriated. I think it's time to get you into bed."

"Ooh, I like that idea! Now if I could just get these buttons on your coat undone..."

I sighed. "Alice, the buttons on my jacket are already undone."

"Oh, well that's much better then! Tarrant, do you realize you wear too many layers? Don't you find it tiresome? A coat, a vest, a shirt, a tie, a coat and a tie and a vest, and a shirt and -"

Alice could also ramble as much as I could when she was intoxicated.

"Alice," I interrupted.

"Tie. Thank you, darling."

"Alice, dear, I think you need to let me undress you and get you to bed."

"Yes! I've been trying to get _you_ undressed!"

"No, sweetness, for sleep. You are far too far gone for any lovemaking. I won't take advantage of you."

"You wouldn't be! Let's go!"

I shook my head. I would really need to scold Mirana for this.

"Alice, could you just lie down please? I'll be right back."

"Oh, I'll definitely get on the bed for you, love!"

Alice clamored onto the bed and I left the room. I had nothing to get, but I knew what would happen if she laid down. When I returned just a minute later, there was a sleeping Alice. Even completely out, she was still easier to undress and redress than a squirmy Alice.

I got myself ready for bed and climbed in next to her, planning my talk with Mirana...

* * *

**Control (Glee cast, originally by Janet Jackson)**

_This is a story about control, my control  
Control of what I say, control of what I do  
And this time I'm gonna do it my way_

Growing up, I always felt constricted. I felt wrong in my own skin. I didn't belong here. The rules didn't fit me. The clothes didn't fit me. The colors and the weather and the relationships didn't fit me.

I had no control over my own life. Someone chose what I ate, what I wore, who I saw, especially after Father had passed away. How could people live like this? How could they be comfortable under these conditions?

I certainly couldn't.

But where could I go? There wasn't anywhere in London, or the world for that matter, that really let women have any of the freedoms that men had. Very few places would understand me and let me be me. And even if I found those places, how would I get there, support myself, do what I wanted?

And then I was tricked into an engagement party. My own mother deceived me to marry me off to a lord. Was this what my life had become? Forced into an uncomfortable dress, to dance uncomfortably and get engaged to a very uncomfortable man? This was not my life. I couldn't do it.

I ran off and searched for a rabbit in a waistcoat. I never expected him to lead me to a magical world, but he was a good distraction in the meantime.

After I found my Wonderland, I found control. No one disagreed with my choices. I was allowed to be me.

"Poppet, where are you right now?" Hatter's voice breaks my daydreaming.

"What?"

He giggles. "Yes, you must have been far away. Where did you wander off to?"

"London," I reply.

His eyes dance with yellow for a moment. "London?"

"Don't worry, darling. I was merely remembering how stuffy it was there and how little control I had. And how much better things are here. I get to do things my way without being made to feel strange."

"Oh. Well, that makes me feel much better." He paused. "Do you miss it at all?"

"I don't miss anything about London, except maybe Mother and Margaret. Otherwise, I left nothing behind that I regret. Keep swinging."

Tarrant picked up his feet and began swinging again. A wedding gift from Nivens was a beautiful porch swing. He didn't look like a wood craftsman, but he was actually quite good.

"We've only been married for a month, Hatter. Are you that worried already I'll want to go back to London?"

"Overland was your home for many years, dearheart. It wouldn't be a surprise if you wanted to return."

"My home is wherever you are, my love. Especially if there are no stuffy rules."

Hatter grinned. "I would never take you anywhere with a lack of control, poppet. Never."

"Then we are quite set. Keep swinging."

"As you wish."


End file.
